David Copperfield and The Magma Wales
by Mr.Crewshaw
Summary: David Copperfield, after conquering purgatory with a oriachulum zweihander, decided to defeat the masked man who kept sending redshirts wearing blueshirts and cannon fodder wielding cannons at David. He tracked him down and began his adventrue of a lifetime.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 : !#*||*/\\*||*/$!#

David Copperfield turned on the safety of his groinsaw and turned to the masked man

"Who are you?" asked David Copperfield.

The man pulled off his mask revealing that he was in fact Peggoty.

David drew his primary weapons, The Corpse of Cthulhu and his half-brother

He attacked with such lethal force that it was both deadly and dangerous.

Peggoty smiled and put on a cocked hat gaining a 2000 AC bonus.

But David was particularly doubtful of the policy of the cocked hat

Peggoty's arm blew off from the doubt and right when David was about to land

the final Cataclysmic on the she-devil a green lightsaber protruded from

Peggoty's chest with elfin fervor, it was Little Em'ly! "Why" said David in despair

"Because you're a space blotter¹, silly" said Em'ly.

So The little girl sent ((((10/3)/0)+2)*pi^-1) Dragons from Hell into David

Copperfield chest decimating his Quantum 2nd Heart and Sleazy 3rd lung.

David Copperfield in sheer nezperdian horror ripped a platyhelminthes hole

in the spacetime continuum with his +6 iron bladed diamond edged knuckles from

purgatory itself and jumped in.


	2. Chapter 2 Perambulation of Flame

Chapter ;3 Perambulation of Flame

David traveled many years in the past because of the hole and telefragged a innocent man on a boat, causing his entire body to explode and making him release organs comparable to the insides of a chicken. David looked at the man's head and realized it was Em'ly's father.

David giggled , only to realize the opponent ahead.

It was a 1000 fft (Fuck feet) tall bear dual wielding Fifty caliber submachine pistols "You KILLED my friend" thought the bear loudly with demonic rage.

David Copperfield set his groinsaw to the maximum setting, a setting so high that Michel Johnson could feal it in HELL.

David activated his boots of a thousand exploding anti-matter virgin islands and jumped one fft in the air then drove his groinsaw into the bear's head spurting enough child blood to feed Cambodia for one thousand shitty years.

The bears body exploded with the force of 20,000 pounds of napalm decimating a quarter of the earth.

David walked through the flames of the impact area in slow motion towards the center and after many hours he reached his destination.

In the center of the explosion was a man in a bear costume, David took off the bear mask revealing him to be:

"JOHN CLEESE" said the scooby doo gang

who were behind David the enTIRE time.

"Yes I suspected it the whole time" said David while ( smoking a corncob

pipe filled with bath salts and super super marijuana) { and he

backhanded the gang launching them a fm (Fuck mile) away.

}

David thought about

SSSS# H### H#I#TTTTT !

S##### H## H#I### T !

SSSS# H HHH I### T !-/

### S# H## H#I### T !-|

SSSS# H####H#I###T !-|

\\

\\


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2 : hello_standard_ =SELECT somecol FROM foo;

David Walked out of the crater of the explosion and saw a house

he looked at the people there and realised that most of them were

gun owners, he was definitely in TEXAS.

Inside one of the homes was BOOBEH and HONK hill.

BOOBEH was dancing naked because of his lack of

hetero-sensuality, HINK haL kicked the door down with his shotgun.

"I am no longer Henk hool." Said Hunk hell

He stared intently at BOBBEH...

something hard appeared in his pants,

Hynk hunk took off his shirt and his glasses

and his pants and his underwar and his wedding ring

and his foreskin, his sanity, and his shoes.

BEEBOH REacted with sheer LOOST at haenk ' Mtar and pelvic thrusted in midair.

Hoink Smith spun around and shot ejaculate everywhere coating the walls.

Suddenly David Cooperfield Saewed through the wall

"TIME TO INTRARUPT YOUR GAY" He yelled with might.

He sliced David Herpes's head causing it to fly in a arc and knock out

BILBO. David thaen tore Bobby Hills' skin off

an Cut off his penis dick.

David went through the Hills garage-closet and

found what he was looking for:

The Wépon a

it was a multi-barreled maucheene goon

capable of wiping out 100 aleins.

He went into the Hiaialls kitchen and

and threw Boobi Hlimbls Ponnis into poogy Hill with suck force that

Peggy hill flew into Venus.

He then took a pot of boiling water and added in the following ingrendiets;

* * *

_The blood of a virgin (Bobbies)_

_ Demon blood_

_ The skin of a redneck_

_ Aluminum pots and pans (Provided by the HILls)_

_ and a charm of Guthix blessing._

_Flesh from the dogscape_

David had crafted TrailMachines 2.1 the first ever space armour

and put it on, allowing him to travel to space but

still have the protection of arm0r...

David thought about Homos


	4. Chapter 4: I fall into disgrace

Chapter (+ 2 2): I fall into disgrace

After exorcising the demons in the hill's house David needed a way to travel to space,

David ran 60 mph towards the carnival shredding up all the innocent dogs.

David drew his orchialum guiter, Cuntlicker from his pocket playing it with the power of eternal hell,

causing every baby on earth to vomit forth his ultimate creation: The Rapeape

"Rape apes I give you one commandment and one only, never become a grapeape" said David casuallty

David walked to the middle of the carnival to a pie stand,

the seller was of course the happy Captain Murder.

David using his pure charisma bought some delicious pies.

"Thank for your buisness," said Captain Murder.

"No thank you," said David with glee.

Suddenly 1000 Chuck Norrises made of AK-47s

surrounded David, David drew his weapon a but realised something

"Chuck Norris isn't a god he's a actor" said David

And the norrises disappeared in a puff of logic.

David then bought some antimatter rockets.

"All in a days work," said David sexily.

David thought about cartillage.


	5. Chapter 23-32

Chapter 1+1+1+1+1:

David tried leaving the carnival, leaving a thin trail of fuckfire behind but somebody interrupted him,

it was a black boy in a wheelchair dual wielding P90s.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU stupid Cunt!" thought David out loud.

#################

# WHEELERS LOG PART 1#

#################

_I was walking through the grass when I found in a carnival a happy looking man_

Wrote Wheeler in his journal, except the paper was made out demon foetuses and the ink was made out of draconic lamb blood.

_The man yelled at me "Who are YOU YOU HOT DICKENS"_

_He had long flowing ginger hair and golden skin_

##########

_#DAVIDS POV#_

_##########_

I looked at the cripple seeing what he was writing down

#############

#NARRATORS POV#

#############

"WHAT IN jesus ARE YOU DOING," said David quietley

"Yo ah be writin' abowt mah lyfe," said Wheeler in a voice like nails scratching on a baby meat chalkboard.

David had no tolerance of jibba jabba and attempted to impale Wheeler with his groinsaw.

#################

# WHEELERS LOG PART 2#

#################

_"David tried bringing his sexy groinsaw into me."_

Wrote Wheeler

#############

#NARRATORS POV#

############

Fortunately Wheeler had skin made of rubber and silicone and the groinsaw had no effect.

#################

# WHEELERS POV #

#################

And I said "Yo Well David ah know you be one adventurer so ah hope you don' take uh arrow ta da knee,"

#############

#NARRATORS POV#

############

David stared at the cripple with fury, his eyes like snakes made of grape juice and heroin.

"WELL I CAN'T harm YOU," said David "SO PLEASE shut up."

"Yo dat iz right da writer gots sued fo' his lack o' politically correct gay nigga cripples and can' kill me off,"

said Wheeler while eating watermelon and thinking about gardinin' hoes.

The next item David needed was for space travel was a computer so he traveled with Wheeler to the computer store.


End file.
